Wednesday, July 11, 2018
J didn’t go to work this morning, but he woke up at 8:00 AM anyway and started taking a shower. I thought he was going into work late. Kano thought he was preparing to take him for a walk. I could see the excitement in his amber eyes. He had started showing signs of degeneration and hadn’t eaten in 8 days time, so it was good to see him with a little energy. J had an extra pair of clothes with him when he emerged from his room, and it was obvious he was preparing to leave, but I convinced him that Kano was more excited about the possibility of a walk. He walked both of the dogs with me for part of the way down the long driveway. When he turned to go back to his truck, we kept walking. By the time he reached us in his truck, we were at the end of the driveway. I held Kano to keep him from attempting to chase the truck. I learned a short while later that he wouldn’t have made it very far, anyway.
We turned around to go back to the house. As we came near the house he stopped to drink from a puddle for a long time and then he seemed to get confused. He looked at me, and I could see the question in his eyes, and then he started back down the driveway again. He seemed to be walking more from habit than wanting to walk more but since he’s having problems with his bowels, walking does seem to help. As long as he had the energy I figured it was good for him to walk more. Lately his walks have been shortened from a little over a mile to about one tenth of a mile down the driveway.
We walked out to the road and back again. This time when we neared the house he turned to the right to go out to the big field. Again, it seemed more from habit than actual want, but I assumed that as long as he still had energy walking was good for him. Maybe it would help him get his appetite back.
It had rained the day before and the grass was swollen with full-size water drops rather than the immature droplets of dew normally there. The air was cooler than it had been for a few weeks. I wasn’t prepared for a walk through a wet field and my leather shoes (without any socks) ended up with enough water inside them to slosh as I walked. But otherwise it was pleasant enough.
Kano took the long route around the field. Another surprise for a dog who hadn’t walked more than a tenth of a mile for over a week. We walked along the long side of the 20-acre field and suddenly a deer sprang from the tree line in front of him. I used to walk him on a leash to keep him from running off and chasing the deer. They seem to have become accustomed to that after four years, and this deer seemed to expect that. Since Kano has been ill I don’t have any reason to keep him on a leash. He can’t run faster than I can anymore. That’s saying a lot because I’m not a runner. By instinct he started to sprint after the deer, but what was one second a moment of pure joy for him in an instant became a moment of pain and confusion.
He only went about 15 feet before his hind legs buckled underneath him. When he went down he immediately turned around and looked at me. There was confusion and pleading in his eyes. I realized his legs had buckled but I didn’t yet know he couldn’t get back up. I stood by him for a few seconds before realizing what had happened, and slowly the knowledge that I had no way of getting him up or getting him back to the house started to creep in. J was gone, and the sun was making it very hot for a long-haired furry, white 85-lb dog who had only a little extra energy just a few minutes before. He was too heavy for me to carry and I thought the only thing I could do was to walk all the way back to my truck and drive it through the field to pick him up and bring him back. I didn’t want to leave him, though. I didn’t want him to think I was leaving him alone when he was in distress and couldn’t understand what was going on.
It was a couple of minutes before he could get back up but it felt like an hour as he and I both wrestled with our thoughts. I felt so bad for him and I was trying to come up with some solution so I was ecstatic when he was finally able to stand.
I don’t think the deer started to run until Kano started sprinting at him. I almost wonder how close it would have let us get if he had been on a leash. As it was Kano was only about 15 feet away when it left its starting point and bounced away.
After struggling to move his legs for a couple of minutes when he was up, we slowly continued walking. At that point we were half a mile around the trail, almost exactly the halfway point. When we got to the lake where he normally takes a drink, he walked into the water further than he normally does. I knew he was thirsty and needed a long drink. I wondered if I was going to have to walk in and carry him out.
By this time my shoes were completely wet and my jeans clung to my legs up to my knees, so it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if I had to go in. 85-lbs or not, I was going to find a way to carry him out. He seemed to have problems turning and moving his legs but he eventually made it back out and we walked back to the house without any further incident.
In the afternoon I roused the dogs to go for another walk after I fed them. Kano hadn’t moved since we came back from the morning walk. The Australian Shepherds down the street came out to bark at us when we reached the end of the driveway. Kano started to run at them and I saw one of his back legs go down, but he stopped and recovered almost immediately. He seemed to remember what had happened earlier.
The Aussies are young and bark a lot. They seem to think they’re guard dogs, but they run away at the slightest forward movement. Kano perked his ears up at times as if he wanted to go greet them. In his prime I would have had a hard time holding his leash as he tried to run to them. But he turned and looked at me as if to question what he was supposed to do. The look of confusion is clear in his face. It’s a look he has never had until recently and it breaks my heart.
When we returned to the house I noticed him starting to have problems with his front legs, too. It may just be that the weight of his weakened posterior side is causing him to lose his balance. I’m not sure right now. The deer made another appearance at the house in the evening. They like nibbling on the grape leaves (Mustang grapes) in the small field by the house. Kano didn’t have the energy to act interested or even look their way.
Kano passed away less than a month later on August 5th. He never ate again and existed on water only for over 24 days. He was able to get up and walk with help a little bit each day right up until his last day.